Suburban Ninnies

Suburbanites, such as the people who surround me in this fine city, have a strange perspective on wildlife.  As long as it stays in the background, like bands at a reception, it's okay.  That would include some birds, and maybe the occasional turtle.  But the list of offenders goes up and up.  My ninny neighbors don't like anything that eats their garden plants, or raids their bird feeders, or gets into their garbage cans, or leaves guano on footpaths, or buzzes around them, or makes a noise before 8:00 in the morning, or generally does whatever wildlife does.  I'm used to that noise.  But now I hear rumors of organized discontent rearing its ugly head at Town Hall because of ... gulls.  Yes, those funny old Ringed Bill Gulls.  Seems our feathery white friends are annoying some people at the big city lake.  (1) They are there, (2) There are a lot of them -- 100?, and (3) they interfere with the feeding of ducks.  Yeah, those blasted crossbred ducks that already make a walk at the park such a trial.  Never mind that the gulls are only around in the winter, or are a lot less genetically goofed up than the Frankenducks, or that the Frankenduck problem exists because these same crazy people bring their bags of bread ends down to the park and distribute the loaves.  So now I imagine that the politicians will be engaged to somehow "discourage" the gulls and get rid of them.  I can't wait to see this story evolve. (sigh.)